


Chat Connected - Say Hello!

by jumpthisship



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Lots of gross fluff, M/M, MMORPG gamers au, also cliches and cheese galore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-26 11:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5002138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumpthisship/pseuds/jumpthisship
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo lives a quiet life. He tries hard in school, does his homework, plays video games to relieve stress. And yeah, he has a crush on fellow online gamer Xen0s. His life would be very nice and peaceful if it weren't for Byun Baekhyun and his quest to ruin Kyungsoo's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chat Connected - Say Hello!

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted to kyungsooperior. thanks to the mods for letting me join the event last minute, and to Ash (look, your name is right here), Frey and Line for test-reading :D i had a blast!

Do Kyungsoo lives a pretty quiet life. He gets up at 6:30am, eats breakfast, brushes his teeth, gets dressed, goes to school. He pays attention in class and raises his hand when he knows the answers to questions. He hands in his neatly-printed homework assignments and writes tests he studied well for. He gets home at 3pm, eats a snack, does his homework before dinner. And then, once everything else is out of the way, he settles into his padded desk chair and logs into his favourite MMORPG to violently pound out a day’s worth of stress and frustration. 

Do Kyungsoo lives a pretty quiet life, but inevitably, there’s something constantly trying to screw that up for him, and for him, that something has a name. 

_“Fucking Byun Baekhyun, I swear to god I will_ strangle—” 

“Miss, Kyungsoo is threatening me with bodily harm again!”

Their homeroom teacher looks at them from her desk with furrowed eyebrows. “Boys, is there a problem?” 

“No,” Kyungsoo says loudly before Baekhyun can do anything stupid like get them both in detention. He glares at Baekhyun for good measure. 

Baekhyun flashes him a bright, insufferable smile, leaning on his desk at the back of the class and intentionally making Kyungsoo’s carefully-positioned pencils and eraser scatter. For the second time. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, for one, you’re in the same room as me,” Kyungsoo says quietly, retrieving his favourite pencil before it rolls onto the floor. “Also, your face.”

“Ouch, Kyungsoo. That’s hurtful.” Baekhyun’s smile doesn’t waver. “I just came to ask you how you did on your biology test yesterday.”

“Better than you,” Kyungsoo deadpans, painstakingly moving his pencil back into place perpendicular to his notebook.

“Well, of course. Because unlike some people, I have a life outside of my textbooks.” 

“Oh, I’m sure. Let me guess: a wild nightlife starring your left hand in Video Games and your right on the joystick?” 

Baekhyun laughs, loud and obnoxious (like everything else about him). “Do Kyungsoo. Innuendoes, really? Does your mother know you have such a filthy mouth?”

“Does your mother know you leave the house in those clothes?”

Baekhyun spares a glance down at his bright yellow sweater and red pants. (Loud and obnoxious. Of course.) “Hah hah. Anyway, you need both hands to play games, you know.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. Sometime he forgets Baekhyun is too dumb for jokes. “Sorry, you must do one and then the other. Is that why you look like you chose your outfit with your eyes closed?”

“At least _I_ had my sexual awakening before I became a crotchety old man,” Baekhyun says, grinning cheekily. 

“Oh my god,” Kyungsoo groans, shaking his head. “Please go away.”

Baekhyun laughs again, just as the first bell rings. “See you later, Gramps.”

“I hate you,” Kyungsoo tells him, quietly enough that the teacher doesn’t hear. 

Byun Baekhyun is a nightmare. A literal nightmare. 

And he’s been that way since the beginning of high school. They’re in their last year now, and Baekhyun has honestly been plaguing him since day one. They got paired up on the first day of freshman year for one of those stupid icebreaker things, and instead of generating scintillating conversation, Baekhyun had immediately picked out all of Kyungsoo’s most embarrassing features and announced them to the class. (“This is Kyungsoo, he likes nerdy books and wears the thickest glasses you’ve ever seen, and when he grows up he wants to be a nerd.” It’s a small blessing, but at least Baekhyun’s taunts have gotten slightly less juvenile since the ninth grade.)

Of course, back then, Kyungsoo hadn’t helped the situation by cussing Baekhyun out about four minutes after meeting him. His language always gets worse when he’s nervous or on edge. 

Anyway, since then it’s been battle after battle, day after day. Baekhyun intentionally tries to rile Kyungsoo up on a daily basis, and Kyungsoo retaliates because he can’t help himself. Baekhyun tries to get them both into trouble, and Kyungsoo tries to keep them out of it, because unlike Baekhyun’s, his school record actually matters. 

But enough about him. Kyungsoo hates thinking about Byun Baekhyun. He’s rude and vulgar and annoying, and Kyungsoo has to kill like 15 monsters just to forget his stupid face. 

He logs into CASUS at 6:15, exhaling slowly and closing his eyes for a moment to reset. Online, he is no longer school-obsessed, harried teenager Do Kyungsoo. He is Zanarath, level 28 Adventurer, on a mission to save not just the world, but the universe. (Eventually. It’s not really a pressing issue.) 

Really, though, CASUS is just a fun game where he can kill a bunch of droids/monsters/whatever to blow off steam and hang out with some chill people and complete some missions. It’s a fun time, and it’s important to Kyungsoo. Maybe for more reason than one. 

He’s the only member of his small, 6-person party logged on at first, but after a few minutes, a notification pops up at the bottom of the screen. _Xen0s is online!_

Kyungsoo grins, enlarging a chat window that he always has open in another tab and waiting impatiently for there to be some activity.

He doesn’t have to wait long. 

_**Xen0s: hey hey  
Xen0s: dude  
Xen0s: bro  
Xen0s: Zan the Man  
Xen0s: what up babe** _

Kyungsoo snorts before typing out his reply. 

_Zanarath: Not much. Just got online.  
 **Xen0s: finished ur homework?**  
Zanarath: Done done done. Ready to kick some intergalactic ass.  
 **Xen0s: good stuff. we still doing that resurrecto mission 2day?**   
Zanarath: I’m in if you’re in. We should be able to do it with two people no problem.   
**Xen0s: cool cool cool. let’s get going then.  
Xen0s: how was school?**_

Kyungsoo smiles and settles into this familiar routine. He takes a minute to set his avatar on course for the planet they plan to take on today, Resurrecto (filled with undead aliens, apparently), then clicks open the chat again. 

_Zanarath: The usual. Hell. This kid in my class was a holy terror today.  
 **Xen0s: oh no. what’d he do?**  
Zanarath: Ehhh I don’t feel like reliving it. Let’s just say he was in fine form today.   
**Xen0s: fair enough man.**   
Zanarath: How are things with the Xeno-family? Xeno-mom still freaking out about the car situation?  
 **Xen0s: haha yeah, a little. dad is being pretty understanding, tho, so it should blow over for once. THANK THE LORD.**  
Zanarath: Oh that’s good. I’m glad for you.   
**Xen0s: aw shucks zan. thx bro. it’s been wild.**_

Kyungsoo smiles to himself, clicking back to the game and settling his fingers onto the controls as his ship lands on Resurrecto. Now quite a few months back, Xen0s had confessed to him that his parents had filed for divorce, and were going through all the steps to make it official. Since then, he’d kept Kyungsoo up to date on all sorts of mishaps and arguments and freak-outs, from disagreements over custody to his mother’s rants about how his father’s spending habits had messed up their finances for life. 

He usually keeps things lighthearted, Xen0s does, or at least bland, but occasionally his real feelings on the subject creep through. _**I’m just pissed that they couldn’t have waited until I was in college or something,**_ he divulged once during a late-night chat session. _**I’ve just been kind of numb about the whole thing,**_ he confessed on a separate occasion. _**Kind of pretending it’s just a temporary thing. I think it’ll only really hit me once it’s done and official.**_

Kyungsoo loves those moments. Not the part where Xen0s is upset, of course, because that sucks, but the part where he’s open and honest. The part where he tells Kyungsoo about himself, where he tells Kyungsoo things he doesn’t tell anyone else. 

_**It’s not that i don’t have irl friends,**_ Xen0s told him once. _**It’s just that you’re easier to talk to than they are. I never know what to say to them. It’s just awkward. With you it’s simple.**_

That makes Kyungsoo all warm and giddy inside. Because he knows exactly how Xen0s feels. Because he feels the same way. 

Even though Kyungsoo has never met Xen0s in real life, he feels like he knows his fellow party member better than anyone else. Even though reasonably, Kyungsoo knows Xen0s could be some 50-year-old man masquerading as a boy Kyungsoo’s age for some perverted reason, he’s pretty damn sure that isn’t true. He’s never heard Xen0s’ voice or seen his face, but every word he says just reeks of brutal honesty. And besides, Xen0s always answered all his own questions first. Age, time zone, gender. That kind of stuff. If anything, Xen0s has reason to be suspicious of _him,_ continuously responding with “hey me too!” to every question the guy threw at him. 

That had been a year ago, back when Kyungsoo first started playing CASUS. He’d met Xen0s after a couple weeks of solo gameplay and joined his party of then 3, and they’d hit it off almost immediately, starting a conversation in a private chat window that never seemed to end. It’s for that reason that Kyungsoo still does his best to get online every single evening, at least for an hour or two. It means a lot to him. 

After all, Xen0s knows as many secrets of Kyungsoo’s as Kyungsoo knows of his. 

(After two weeks of knowing each other, Xen0s—who played a small, female avatar back then—had confessed to being a guy, and Kyungsoo had responded with “Oh, that’s okay. I like...boys.” And that was how Kyungsoo came out for the first time ever, to a boy he barely knew.)

(Xen0s had responded with a simple **^///^** , so Kyungsoo has since entertained the thought that his cyberfriend is maybe-possibly gay, too, or at least bi or pan or something. Sometimes, that’s the only thing that keeps Kyungsoo going.)

The evening passes the same way it always does, with lots of shooting and hacking and killing, interspersed with relaxed conversation and lame jokes and what Kyungsoo thinks might be lowkey flirting. It’s hard to tell, through text and emoticons alone. 

_**Xen0s: damn, Zan. you absolutely destroyed those zombie aliens.**   
Zanarath: Yeah I did. Zombaliens got nothing on me.   
**Xen0s: that’s my man. so suave. so deadly. so humble.**   
Zanarath: I have to be all of the above to make up for your deadweight and save your sorry ass.   
**Xen0s: shut up, my new avatar is a fucking wimp. look at him! i’m still working on levelling him up, u know that.**   
Zanarath: It was your choice to get a new one. Your old one was fine.   
**Xen0s: yea but she was a girl. and u said u like boys ;D**  
Zanarath: While that is true, she was also a badass level 42 warrior.   
**Xen0s: yea but look at my new avatar’s sexy abs**  
Zanarath: Please put his shirt back on  
 **Xen0s: u know u like it ;DDD**_

Xen0s is occasionally juvenile, often ridiculous, sometimes annoying, but always genuine, and Kyungsoo maybe, sort of, has a tiny cybercrush on him. (Or a huge, crippling one. But no one has to know that.)

 

“Hey Kyungsoo.”

“Oh hi Jongin.” Kyungsoo looks up from disinfecting his flute to smile at the boy beside him. Jongin is a year younger, but he’s in the same band class, because he’s practically a prodigy on the clarinet. He also happens to sit next to Kyungsoo in the front row. After years of sitting next to each other for a couple hours every day, they’ve become pretty close. 

“Have you been practicing that Christmas song for the program in December? I’ve been trying really hard to nail the first three bars but it’s really tricky and my mom says if she hears me play that part one more time, she’ll disown me.” Jongin laughs, pushing his hair off his forehead. 

Kyungsoo laughs as well. He feels obligated where Jongin is involved. The poor guy always seems so nervous and flustered about his own jokes. “There’s nothing too hard about the flute part. Except that I’m supposed to play _pianissimo,_ which. I’m playing the flute. It’s already quiet enough.”

Jongin laughs again, louder this time. Kyungsoo smiles at him and pats his bouncing knee, which Jongin immediately stops, looking embarrassed. 

“So how’s your day been?” Jongin asks after a moment, around the reed softening in his mouth. Band is always the last class of the day, so this conversation is routine. 

“Not horrible,” Kyungsoo admits. “I did well on my history quiz, so.” He shrugs. “I’ve had worse days.”

Jongin nods sagely as he fits his clarinet together. “Did you—”

The loud blare of a horn cuts him off, and Kyungsoo closes his eyes for a few moments to keep from standing up and jumping over several rows of chairs to reach Byun Baekhyun’s throat. 

Jongin laughs his small, nervous laugh, taking his reed out of his mouth to attach it to his mouthpiece. “Trumpet-players…”

“No, it’s just him,” Kyungsoo says through clenched teeth. 

“You have to admit, he’s got good lungs.”

Kyungsoo snorts. “And a big mouth to exercise them with.”

Their teacher calls them to attention a minute later, and they run through a couple scales before starting on their Christmas set. Kyungsoo plays what’s on his sheet music, lips pursed and fingers flying across the keys. He thinks he does pretty well. 

The moment they stop playing, though, a familiar voice calls, “I can’t hear first flutes!”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, not even bothering to turn around as he says, “Then play quieter.”

“Baekhyun has a point, Kyungsoo,” their teacher says, frowning slightly. “I could barely hear you, and you’re right in front of me.” 

“That’s because all you can hear is trumpets, like always,” Kyungsoo mutters. 

Their teacher frowns a little more, then asks all the first flautists—Kyungsoo and two other girls—to run through their part for him, while the rest of their classmates practice on their own. They play one by one, and of course, when it’s Kyungsoo’s turn, all anyone can hear is fucking _trumpets._

“I appreciate your enthusiasm, Baekhyun, but please play a little more quietly while I’m listening to the flautists,” their teacher says, sending a warning look towards the back of the classroom. 

“No problem sir. Sometimes I forget flutes are so weak.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes so hard he thinks he almost strains something. Beside him, Jongin pats his shoulder gently. “I’m going to murder him,” Kyungsoo says under his breath while the teacher is busy scribbling something on his conductor score. 

“He’s just trying to get your attention,” Jongin tells him. 

“Yeah, so he can get on my fucking nerves,” Kyungsoo mutters. 

“Or something,” Jongin says. 

Grinding his teeth, Kyungsoo tilts his flute so that he can see Baekhyun’s obnoxious face reflected in it’s polished silver surface. His hair is this stupid bright reddish-pink colour, because Byun Baekhyun can’t stand not being noticed, and it falls in his eyes constantly. 

“Are you staring at Baekhyun’s reflection in your flute?” Jongin asks.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says, narrowing his eyes. “Always keep your eye on the enemy, Jongin.”

“Um...okay.”

Baekhyun blasts a very flat E on his trumpet, and Kyungsoo cringes. He’s going to kill a lot of space monsters to make up for his inability to destroy the one in his real life. 

 

Even though Kyungsoo knows it’s not required, or even _requested_ , he always likes to offer something personal about himself when Xen0s confesses something to him. He just thinks it’s nice, to have a sort of mutual exchange of intimate information. And it feels good, to get some things off his chest that he’s kept there for too long. 

_**Xen0s: so anyway, enough of my sob stories.**   
Zanarath: Nah man, your worries are totally valid. College is scary shit. Tons of people freak out over what to major in.   
**Xen0s: but not you, ofc.**  
Zanarath: Well, no. But that’s because I’ve always only been good with numbers. It’s an obvious choice.   
**Xen0s: yea right. you always tell me how good you are at school.**   
Zanarath: That’s because I try so fucking hard though. Which is a combination of chronic overachievement and me internally freaking out 99% of the time.   
**Xen0s: freaking out about what?**  
Zanarath: Well. I’m planning on coming out to my parents after I graduate. So if they decide to kick me out, I’d better have some scholarships secured as backup so I don’t end up on the street, you know?_

It’s the first time Kyungsoo admits that he’s not sure how his parents are going to take his coming out. And that he’s scared. 

_**Xen0s: shit man. that’s fuckin scary shit. i take back all my whining about not knowing what to major in.**   
Zanarath: Haha nooooo. Please don’t pity me. It’s kind of like. We’re all scared as shit. So we should stop imagining we’re the only ones struggling. Right?   
**Xen0s: that’s true. u is so wise.  
Xen0s: also i’m srry for calling you a nerd all the time. i guess i can’t call you that if you’re like scared for your life and stuff.**   
Zanarath: No, I totally am a nerd. Look at me. I use capital letters in chat.   
**Xen0s: NERD**  
Zanarath: That’s more like it._

They’re trying to complete a mission on planet Ignios today, but their hearts aren’t really in it. Xen0s’ avatar’s head caught fire earlier, destroying his stylish aquamarine hairdo, and he’s been acting overly wary ever since. 

They chat for a while about other stuff. Xen0s talks about his brother’s very pregnant wife and how excited he is to be an uncle, and Kyungsoo admits that his own older brother is a workaholic who has no time for romantic relationships, and that Kyungsoo doesn’t want to end up like that. It’s October, so they talk about Halloween and their best and most embarrassing past costumes. Xen0s says he’s going to be a Ghostbuster this year, then changes his mind twice in the following hour. Kyungsoo giggles himself silly over the links to sexy costumes Xen0s sends him. 

Then, as the night winds down and they give up hope of ever beating Ignios while Xen0s is still only a level 15, the topic changes again. 

_**Xen0s: hey i was thinking. if ur parents really do kick u out, u can come live with me if u need to  
Xen0s: my mom’s always asking me how u are anyway >.> i might talk about u too much  
Xen0s: but anyway. yes. if u need a place to crash for like the summer or something, i got u. my brother’s room is still empty. or u can sleep on my floor if u get lonely. or whatever. u can take my bed. we can snuggle.**_

Kyungsoo can’t help but grin and blush a little. He’ll never need to take Xen0s up on the offer—he _does_ have friends in real life, and he knows any one of them would offer him a room if he needed one—but it’s a really sweet gesture on Xen0s’ part. Especially since they don’t even know each other. 

_Zanarath: Hey, thanks. That’s super generous of you._

Than, after a moment’s hesitation:

 _Zanarath: Does this mean you want to meet me in real life?_

He taps nervously on his desk as he waits for a reply. 

_**Xen0s: well i mean if the situation is dire. i’m here for u bro.** _

Kyungsoo frowns. That’s not the response he’d been hoping for. 

_Zanarath: So is that a no? You don’t want to meet me unless I’m homeless with nowhere else to go?_

Xen0s’ reply takes a while to arrive again. Kyungsoo doesn’t like that. 

_**Xen0s: idk man. i mean i do. but at the same time i don’t. you know? it’s just scary to think about. but just know that if anything ever happens, i am here for you.**   
Zanarath: What’s scary about it? We already know each other. Unless you’ve been lying to me…  
 **Xen0s: no no. i haven’t been. but like. what if u don’t like me irl? chatting online isn’t the same as talking to someone face to face. i don’t want you to be disappointed when you meet me TT**  
Zanarath: I wouldn’t be. I think it’d be cool to meet in real life. I’ll definitely like you.   
**Xen0s: idk. you might not.**  
Zanarath: I will. And we even live in the same state. We could totally meet up.  
 **Xen0s: idk. maybe. i’ll think about it…….**_

Kyungsoo sighs and sits back in his chair. It’s not like this is the first time he’s thought about meeting Xen0s in real life. He’s been thinking about it ever since they found out they lived so close together. They’ve never talked specifics—Kyungsoo’s mom always warned him against giving out really personal information to strangers on the internet—but sometimes Kyungsoo fantasizes about meeting Xen0s by chance on the street. Or even in his school. It’s unlikely, but Kyungsoo likes to think about it anyway. Not that he knows what Xen0s looks like or anything, so he wouldn’t be able to pick him out of a crowd. But Kyungsoo’s daydreams rarely follow that sort of logic. 

(This is made especially clear by the amount of making out that happens in Kyungsoo’s daydreams. Byun Baekhyun was wildly incorrect about Kyungsoo never having experienced his sexual awakening.) 

But Xen0s doesn’t want to meet him. So maybe he’ll just have to stick with daydreams and silly fantasies forever. 

 

The next day at school, Kyungsoo half-listens to his friends chattering over lunch while he looks around at the people scattered across the cafeteria, idly wondering if any of them could be Xen0s. It’s totally possible, even if the chances of it being true are like one in a thousand. There are a lot of high schools in the state, and Xen0s could go to any one of them. But Kyungsoo looks around at all his classmates anyway, wondering if the boy he knows so well online could be that boy that drowns his cafeteria fries in ketchup (he’s sort of cute, in a dorky way), or that kid with the braces and the high-pitched laugh (although he seems more like the Anime and Comic Con type), or the guy who carries a soccer ball with him everywhere (probably not—jocks that intense don’t have time for MMOs). 

Kyungsoo’s fantasies about meeting Xen0s have never included disappointment or regret. He’d never even taken that into account when he’d thought about it in the past. How could he be disappointed? He knows what Xen0s is like. He’s cool, and he’s funny, and he’s dorky, and he doesn’t care enough to use proper spelling and grammar in his messages (even though Kyungsoo knows he’s fully capable), and he laughs easily. Xen0s has told him before that he’s friendly in real life, that he makes friends pretty easily, that he talks too much. He’s told Kyungsoo that he likes music and cheesy comedy films. He’s a dog person and he loves babies. He cries at weddings (or at least he cried at his brother’s). And, most importantly, he likes Kyungsoo. 

Doesn’t he? Well, he obviously likes Kyungsoo online, but he’d like Kyungsoo in real life too, wouldn’t he? Xen0s seems so concerned that Kyungsoo wouldn’t like him in real life, but Kyungsoo has never even spared a thought to the fact that _Xen0s_ might not like _him._

Kyungsoo thinks he’s pretty similar online as he is in real life. More talkative, maybe, and more witty. He’s just as sarcastic and blunt in real life, though. But he _does_ tend to offend people in real life more than he does online. And he’s not as good at pretending to care about things he actually doesn’t give a shit about. And people tell him that he’s intimidating. 

What if Xen0s doesn’t like him in real life? What if he thinks Kyungsoo is too obsessed with school, and too standoffish, and not good at conversation, and rude because he’s really bad at just smiling and nodding along? What if he thinks Kyungsoo is unattractive?

Fuck, he never should have asked Xen0s to meet him in real life. Not only has it made him all paranoid, but now he thinks he might have made things awkward between the two of them to boot. Great. 

The only thing keeping Kyungsoo’s day from totally sucking is the fact that Byun Baekhyun is absent, which means that Kyungsoo can at least be miserable in peace. 

 

_**Xen0s: jkdsdnsjkdn hey zan. my day was shit, how was urs.**  
Zanarath: Also shit.   
Zanarath: Hey, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable yesterday, talking about meeting up. I didn’t mean to pressure you or anything. And I’m sorry if that’s what made your day shit.   
**Xen0s: lmao nah bro, no worries. that wasn’t it at all. i was just sick today.**   
Zanarath: Oh, good. I was worried.   
**Xen0s: it’s not good that i’m sick!! and you should still be worried! bc i am dying of the common cold.**  
Zanarath: Oh no, how tragic. I’ll miss you when you’re dead.   
**Xen0s: yes good. i’ll miss u too. pls come to my funeral n weep over my corpse, k?  
Xen0s: in other news, check out my new hair!!**  
Zanarath: Wow. That is very….pink.   
**Xen0s: right? thanks. it’s amazing, i know. i love ur enthusiasm.**  
Zanarath: Sorry, let me rephrase. WOW XEN, THAT HAIR LOOKS SO FUCKING SEXY ON YOU. I WOULD TOTALLY HAVE SEX WITH YOUR AVATAR.   
**Xen0s: OMG  
Xen0s: u never fail to make my day, zan. never.**   
Zanarath: I live to please :)_

 

Kyungsoo ends up getting sick a couple days after Xen0s does, feverish and coughing and sneezing all over the place, and even though it sucks like crazy, it _does_ make Kyungsoo wonder if this means Xen0s lives in his area. The virus is going around, after all. But then again, it’s October. _Everyone_ is probably getting sick. 

He takes a day off school to rest up and try to recover, and he spends most of that time on CASUS, levelling up his avatar and completing mini missions. Xen0s isn’t online until 7pm, but Kyungsoo spends all day thinking about him anyway. He hasn’t had a real-life crush in a while, but he still remembers what it’s like to have one. That’s almost exactly what this feels like—always thinking about him, wondering what he’s doing, wondering if he’s thinking about _Kyungsoo._

He thinks about that a lot, especially while slightly loopy from cold meds. Does Xen0s think about him as much as Kyungsoo does? Does he try to imagine what Kyungsoo looks like, and smile when he remembers something Kyungsoo said? Does he think about them as something more than friends? Does he think about them going on cheesy dates even half as much as Kyungsoo does? 

The only difference, Kyungsoo supposes, is that when he thinks about Xen0s, there’s no face to the name. Not even the avatar, because Xen0s started out with a female avatar but Kyungsoo knew he was a boy. So in his head, Xen0s has always just been this really vague, generic, smiling face. When Kyungsoo thinks about them kissing (which is embarrassingly often), he thinks more about the sensations than the visuals. His crush on Xen0s is purely emotional (and partly hormonal), based on personality alone, and Kyungsoo thinks that’s pretty cool. 

Also maybe a little bit risky, because he’s not quite sure what he’d do if he met Xen0s in real life and found him completely physically unappealing, but...well. The heart wants what the heart wants, or whatever. Maybe it wouldn’t even matter. Maybe Kyungsoo is so whipped that he’d find Xen0s attractive no matter what. 

In the late afternoon, Chanyeol drops by to give Kyungsoo the homework assignment from their AP Math class. “You look like a wreck,” he says when Kyungsoo opens the door for him, laughing. Chanyeol is _always_ laughing, which is something Xen0s always says about himself. Chanyeol also plays CASUS, and Kyungsoo had entertained the thought of him being Xen0s for those two reasons, for a little while. Even though he knew Chanyeol’s username. He just kind of thought about it occasionally. It wouldn’t have been the worst thing ever. 

Of course, Chanyeol had turned out to be only a casual player, more interested in buying cool armour and spaceships than doing missions, and Kyungsoo had eventually dropped that theory. But the guy was still a pretty good friend. 

“Wow, thanks,” Kyungsoo deadpans, squinting at Chanyeol threateningly as he lets him in. “Come in so I can cough on you.”

Chanyeol laughs again. “Ew, no thanks.” He walks in anyway. “You want me to explain the assignment for you, and catch you up a bit?”

“Yeah, sure, that’d be great.” Kyungsoo leads Chanyeol through the house to his room, grabbing them cookies from the kitchen as he goes. 

They go over the day’s lesson and the assignment fairly quickly, and then Chanyeol chatters for a while about what Kyungsoo missed at lunch and stuff like that. Chanyeol always gives Kyungsoo the impression that most people don’t listen to him, so he takes advantage of anyone who will. Kyungsoo doesn’t mind listening to his rambling for a while every day. 

“Byun Baekhyun was back in class today,” Chanyeol says, grinning when Kyungsoo’s automatic reaction is to flinch in horror. “He looked very disappointed when you weren’t there.”

“Oh my god, I hate him,” Kyungsoo mutters. “I’m surprised the guy didn’t come over to my house to get in his dose of being fucking annoying.”

Chanyeol laughs loudly. “You’re so mean to that guy. He’s honestly not that terrible.”

“He is!” Kyungsoo insists. “He’s been terrorizing me since day one.”

“You terrorize him back! If you stopped paying attention to him, he’d stop.”

Kyungsoo turns away to sneeze and whine miserably, and then he pats Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Buddy, I usually approve of your taste, but you’re wrong on this one. He lives to harass me.”

“We actually get along pretty well. He’s a decent guy, you know,” Chanyeol puts in. “Just not with...you.”

“Okay, you get along with everyone. Also, wow, that’s reassuring,” Kyungsoo says sarcastically. “I love knowing that he’s only a dick to me.”

“I’m just saying.” Chanyeol shrugs. 

“Yeah, whatever. Anyway, you should get going. My parents’ll be home soon, and they’ll try to feed you and stuff.”

“Why is that a bad thing?” Chanyeol asks, but Kyungsoo shoos him out instead of responding. 

Finally, after supper, Xen0s logs on, and Kyungsoo eagerly strikes up a conversation with him. 

_Zanarath: Hey hey. Guess what? I CAUGHT YOUR COLD.  
 **Xen0s: haha whoops! that sucks man. but srsly, /everyone/ is getting sick. cold season~**  
Zanarath: Yeah yeah. It still sucks. I’ve been sniffling all day. But how was your day?  
 **Xen0s: boring. quiet. BLAH. i missed u.**_

Kyungsoo will never admit to his blush at that. Especially because it’s so _cheesy._

_Zanarath: Oh how you flatter me.  
 **Xen0s: admit it. u smiled.**   
Zanarath: My lips might have twitched.   
**Xen0s: see? i’m cheering u up already. ur welcome.**   
Zanarath: You are a menace.   
**Xen0s: i’m adorable. don’t lie.**  
Zanarath: A little bit adorable.   
**Xen0s: AHA!**  
Zanarath: Cutie.  
Zanarath: I never said that. My hands were momentarily possessed.   
**Xen0s: :))))**_

They chat for a while, both doing their own thing in CASUS for the time being, talking about some dumb shit, and also some serious shit. The finalization of Xen0s’ parents’ divorce is looming, and it’s obviously weighing on him. They talk about parents’ expectations for them—Kyungsoo’s mom expects him to go into an impressive field like his brother, even though Kyungsoo just wants to be like an accountant or something, and Xen0s admits that he struggles to be as okay with everything as his parents want him to be. They offer each other awkward words of encouragement and silly “chin up, buckaroo!”s, and Kyungsoo grins at his screen and wonders when he’ll crack and just ask Xen0s to date him already. Even if they never meet in real life. 

And then, of course, the unthinkable happens. 

It starts with an innocent comment. Kyungsoo keeps having to blow his hair out of his face while he plays because his hands are too busy on the controls, and he types out a frustrated, _Wow, my hair is too long, I need to get it cut._

_**Xen0s: haha same tbh. my hair’s wild. i need to get it re-dyed too, my roots are showing and it’s super obvious.**  
Zanarath: You dye your hair?   
**Xen0s: yea! rn it’s pretty much the same colour as my avatar’s :)))**_

And Kyungsoo freezes. Double-takes. Brings up Xen0s’ character profile and stares for a moment at the mop of vibrant pink hair on his screen, blinking in shock. No…

 _Zanarath: Your school doesn’t care that it’s a crazy colour?  
 **Xen0s: nah! as long as its not vulgar, anything goes at EHS.**_

Kyungsoo’s stomach plummets. No. This cannot be possible. His hands are shaking. 

_Zanarath: EHS…?  
 **Xen0s: oh yea thats my high school haha. go warriors!!**_

He breaks out in a cold sweat. Oh fuck. Oh no. It can’t be. 

_**Xen0s: why, u gonna stalk me? :P jk jk  
Xen0s: istg i think my mom’s gonna run over my trumpet if she hears me play one more note lmao SORRY MAMA** _

And Kyungsoo realizes it has to be. How many senior male pink-haired trumpet-players could there feasibly be in his high school? Kyungsoo thinks he’s going to throw up. 

Byun. 

Fucking. 

Baekhyun. 

Kyungsoo barely even remembers typing out the hasty _“shit I gotta go”_ before he logs off of his account and crawls into bed. He just lies there, staring up at the ceiling, for what feels like hours. It’s Byun Baekhyun. Xen0s is _Byun Baekhyun._ That asshole, _really?_ Kyungsoo would never believe it if it didn’t add up on every level. Everything Kyungsoo knows about Xen0s, it fits. He’s mentioned being kind of short before. And loving music. And fucking _laughing too much._ Fuck!

But _how?_ How can Baekhyun be the same boy Kyungsoo has been talking to all this time? How is it possible that Kyungsoo has been crushing on _him?_ It’s completely crazy. Kyungsoo must be crazy. This must be some sort of medication-induced nightmare. 

He wakes up the next morning to find the evidence still there, sitting in his chat box, along with a couple new messages. 

_**Xen0s: oh, why?  
Xen0s: ….bye i guess :(  
Xen0s: miss u already~  
Xen0s: hope everything’s ok  
Xen0s: let me know** _

Kyungsoo closes the tab and takes several deep, calming breaths. He can’t answer those right now. And he definitely can’t face Baekhyun at school today. 

But of course, Kyungsoo isn’t sick enough to stay home again. He heads to school with dread settled low in his stomach, knowing that today is going to be a hard day. His entire world just got flipped upside down. How can he be expected to act normal?

 

Kyungsoo barely looks at Baekhyun all day. He goes through the entire day in a numb sort of daze, blaming it on his cold, barely speaking and only hearing half of what anyone says to him. He takes notes in class as if he’s in a trance, and when Baekhyun comes around to annoy the shit out of him, he just sits there in silence and waits until he goes away. He can’t deal with this today. He’s still in shock. 

In band that afternoon, Kyungsoo takes extra long to disinfect his flute and put it away after class, so that by the time he’s done, there are only a handful of people left in the room. Baekhyun is one of them—he’s always too distracted by talking to people to rush out. Somehow, Kyungsoo finds himself standing in front of the other boy as he puts away his trumpet. 

“Baekhyun.”

“What the— holy shit, you scared me.” Baekhyun blinks up at him, then quickly stands, like he doesn’t want Kyungsoo to have any advantage over him. Like Kyungsoo is going to attack him or something. (With their track record, though, it’s not that ridiculous of an assumption.) “What do you want?”

Kyungsoo very rarely speaks to Baekhyun first, or acknowledges him in any way, so he supposes he can understand his surprise. “I wanted to talk to you.” He doesn’t know why he’s saying this. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing. 

“Uh…” Baekhyun looks him up and down, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. “About what?”

Kyungsoo shifts slightly, trying not to show weakness. It’s instinct at this point. “Can we sit down?”

Baekhyun looks around, but everyone else has left the room, even the teacher. Not many people want to stay later than they have to, and the junior band is going to be trickling into this room to practice in a few minutes. “Um. Sure?” He waits until Kyungsoo swings around a chair to sit in before he lowers himself gingerly into his own. 

They sit in silence for a few moments, just staring at each other, and Kyungsoo realizes he has no idea what to say. _Surprise, I’m the guy you’ve been talking to online for the past year? I had a crush on you except now I’m very confused?_ This is such a mess. 

Baekhyun looks like he’s trying to sit as far away from Kyungsoo as possible without leaving his chair, hands gripping either side of his seat and chin tucked in, gaze wary and cheeks a little flushed. “So?” he prompts. This is the most flustered Kyungsoo has ever seen him. He usually exudes ludicrous amounts of baseless confidence, wears it like a second skin. But it’s gone now, when it’s just the two of them, alone together. 

And suddenly, it’s too much for Kyungsoo. He can’t do it. He doesn’t know what to say, and even more than that, he’s scared of what _Baekhyun_ will say. 

“Never mind,” he says abruptly, standing up. “Just forget it.”

“What?” Baekhyun stares up at him with wide, confused eyes. 

“Nothing. See you.” And Kyungsoo hightails it out of there, breathing a little too hard as he rushes home. If anyone asks, he’ll blame his state of mind on the sickness. 

Later that evening, he checks his chat box again, mostly because he likes to torture himself. He has three new messages. 

_**Xen0s: hey, u gonna be online today?  
Xen0s: u left in a rush last time……  
Xen0s: just wanted to check on u i guess…………..** _

Kyungsoo groans and falls onto his bed. Everything about this is so bad, because his heart still flutters a little when he sees Xen0s’ name on his screen, knowing he’s been thinking about Kyungsoo, even though he knows it’s Baekhyun, and Baekhyun’s not thinking about _him._ He’s thinking about Zanarath. The person he actually likes. 

It just doesn’t make sense. How can loud, obnoxious Baekhyun be the same thoughtful, interesting guy Kyungsoo’s been talking to and crushing on? It’s ridiculous. How can Kyungsoo like one so much and hate the other? They’re nothing alike. Nothing. 

 

Except maybe, kind of, there are. The next day, the initial shock of the revelation has finally worn off, and Kyungsoo spends most of the day obsessively sneaking peeks at Baekhyun, and thinking about him, and listening to him talk to his friends. And he realizes that the way Baekhyun speaks is kind of familiar to him. The clumsy excitement and the endless exuberance and the kinds of jokes he makes and the things he laughs at. He overhears Baekhyun talking to his best friend Jongdae about a new CD he got, and it’s exactly the same way Xen0s talks about the things he loves. The realization is chilling. 

For the entire day, Kyungsoo tries to match up the Xen0s in his head to the Baekhyun he knows, to show himself how preposterous and impossible it is, but it actually...works. Kyungsoo looks at Baekhyun and he can see him making those dumb, flirty jokes, and having terrible spelling and grammar online, and cooing over his future niece or nephew, and occasionally being serious about his future, and his home life. What had at first seemed so ludicrous in Kyungsoo’s head now seems shockingly possible, even _probable._

And Kyungsoo hates it. It’s so confusing and awful and stupid. For the past three years, every time he’s looked at or thought about Byun Baekhyun, his blood has boiled. And now, suddenly, his heart is going all soft for him? No. This isn’t right. Baekhyun has never been anything but a nuisance, some dick at school that tries to annoy the living hell out of him at every opportunity. 

A little voice whispers that maybe Kyungsoo had only hated him because he’d never really known him. And now, through Xen0s, he does. 

Kyungsoo violently quashes that thought, because it’s stupid. He does not, and _will not,_ have a crush on Byun Baekhyun. Ever. 

(Even if he’s admittedly sort of cute. Even with his dumb hair and his obnoxiously bright clothes.)

(And even if Kyungsoo can kind of, maybe see how Baekhyun is really only a nuisance to _him,_ and maybe it’s because they got off on the wrong foot back in grade 9 and never bothered to remedy that.)

 

_**Xen0s: hey, where’ve u been the last few days? are u getting my mssgs?  
Xen0s: i’m starting to worry a little, haha. let me know if ur ok!  
Xen0s: life’s been weird and i miss u……..** _

 

Kyungsoo refuses to do anything with his knowledge of Xen0s’ true identity and his confused, conflicting feelings for the entire week. He doesn’t play CASUS at all, focusing on his homework and struggling with his internal crises instead, and occasionally scrolling through his and Xen0s’ old chat logs and imagining Baekhyun typing out all these messages. Because he’s disturbed, of course. 

Somehow, in the span of a week, after three whole years, Kyungsoo manages to develop feelings towards Byun Baekhyun that are not hatred or bitterness. 

Since the incident in the band room, Baekhyun has barely tried to talk to or harass Kyungsoo at all, mostly acting a little skittish and uncomfortable around him, like he’s not sure what to do anymore. Kyungsoo’s friends ask him about it, because it’s weird for Baekhyun to leave him alone for even a day, but Kyungsoo just shrugs and says he doesn’t know what’s going on. 

“I told you he’d stop bothering you if you just ignored him,” Chanyeol says, grinning proudly. 

“I’m not ignoring him. He just stopped.”

“Oh. Well. I can go ask him about it, if you want. We’re sort of friends. Did you know he plays CASUS, too?”

Kyungsoo barely keeps from flinching. “Please don’t talk to him about me,” he says, trying to keep his voice flat and even. Chanyeol doesn’t seem to notice anything odd. 

“Well, okay. I wonder why he’s acting so weird…”

Kyungsoo just shrugs again and tries to change the subject. 

About a week after The Revelation, Kyungsoo has a gross, schmoopy dream about Baekhyun dressed in Xen0s’ armour, sweet-talking him while they try to complete the Ignios mission again, smiling and making very Xen0s-esque jokes, and it’s dumb because Kyungsoo totally falls for him. He wakes up, and he still feels all warm and blushy even though he knows he should feel revolted or something. But he doesn’t. And it had felt so real. 

Stupid. 

 

Watching Baekhyun at school quickly becomes a habit, which means that Kyungsoo knows when there’s something off about him. But then again, it’s really obvious to anyone who’s looking. 

He notices it the second Baekhyun walks in on Monday morning. Usually, during the few minutes before final bell, Baekhyun is chattering away to his friends, talking about his weekend, laughing about everything. But today, he goes straight to his desk, sitting down and only offering weak smiles and soft greetings. It’s weird. Kyungsoo doesn’t like it. 

He wonders about it and watches all period, until he sees the date written on the blackboard and realizes what today is. 

It’s Divorce Day. The day Xen0s had been dreading for months. The day his parents separate for good, _permanently, officially._ It’s final. And clearly, it’s hitting him just as hard as he’d thought it would. 

Kyungsoo’s heart gives. Xen0s had always said he found it hard to talk to anyone in real life about this. He never wanted to talk to his parents about it because it was _their_ divorce, and he wasn’t that close with his brother, and he never knew what to say to his friends, how to make it not awkward. He said he only ever really discussed it with _Kyungsoo._ (Or Zanarath, rather.)

And Kyungsoo has been blowing Xen0s off all week, ignoring his increasingly sad and pitiful messages because he doesn’t know how to respond. Which means that Baekhyun has no one. 

And now Kyungsoo watches as Baekhyun waves his friends off when they ask why he’s so gloomy. He watches as Baekhyun pastes on a fake smile and attempts to join in the conversation before fading out, and Kyungsoo hurts for him. 

When lunch rolls around, everyone rushes out to line up in the cafeteria, but Baekhyun lingers, slowly packing up his things. Kyungsoo gathers his books and pretends to be searching for his pencil for a long time, then gets up and pauses by Baekhyun’s desk. He swallows hard. “Hey Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun looks up at him, looking too tired to be really surprised. “What do you want, Kyungsoo? I don’t...really want to deal with you right now.”

“I know. I just.” Kyungsoo’s mouth is suddenly too dry. 

“What?”

Kyungsoo looks away, feeling uncomfortable. This isn’t how he wanted to reveal himself to Baekhyun. Not out of the blue like this, while Baekhyun is already having a shitty day. It’s not fair to him. “Never mind,” he says. 

Baekhyun lets out a frustrated breath. “Why are you being so weird recently? It’s annoying.”

“Nothing. Forget it.” Kyungsoo shifts his hold on his books and shuffles his feet, wondering if he should just make a break for it. 

“That’s what you said last time. What is going on?” Baekhyun sounds exhausted. 

“Nothing,” Kyungsoo says, shaking his head, and walks out. 

“Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun calls after him, but Kyungsoo pretends not to hear. He’ll figure this out yet. He just needs more time. 

Later that day, though, he switches his status on his chat account to _online_ for the first time in over a week and types out a message. 

_Zanarath: Hey, I just remembered earlier that today’s your parents’ thing. How are you holding up? I was thinking about you at school._

Xen0s isn’t online when he writes it out, but twenty minutes later, he gets his reply. 

_**Xen0s: thANK GOD YOU’RE ALIVE! what happened to you???? jfc ive missed you.  
Xen0s: and thanks Zan, today’s been rough. what with the parents thing and not really having anyone to talk to about it, plus worrying that you’re dead or you hate me or something……..**  
Zanarath: I don’t hate you. Sorry I’ve been MIA. Dealing with stuff.   
**Xen0s: wanna talk about it?**  
Zanarath: Nah. Nothing important. You’re okay though? I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.   
**Xen0s: i’m ok. a little down, but talking to you has cheered me up~  
Xen0s: i guess i shouldve been more prepared for this. but whatever. i’ll be alright.**  
Zanarath: Good good. I actually can’t stick around, but I’m glad you’re doing okay.  
 **Xen0s: oh  
Xen0s: ok. bye, then. don’t disappear for a week again, ok? i almost went crazy**  
Zanarath: I’ll try._

Kyungsoo logs out and lies down on his bed, staring up at his ceiling. He can’t keep doing this. Talking to Xen0s as if he has no idea who he is in real life. He can’t keep lying. But he also can’t keep ignoring him. Something has to give. 

He thinks about it nonstop for two days. What he should do. He can’t expect the situation to solve itself, so he’s going to have to make a decision. 

Which would be easier if every option didn’t seem like it would end badly. Because regardless of online personas, he’s still Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun is still Baekhyun, and this is still...one of the worst things that could have happened. 

On the second day, Kyungsoo gives up trying to figure out what to do, and how he feels, and he types out a new message. 

_Zanarath: Hey, so. I need to tell you something.  
 **Xen0s: oh. ok? o.o**   
Zanarath: I think I know who you are. In real life. I think I know you. Actually I’m like...99% certain._

The few seconds between his message sending and the reply are some of the tensest of Kyungsoo’s life. 

_**Xen0s: what?? really??? omg O____O  
Xen0s: who am i?? i mean i know who i am but are you sure??  
Xen0s: do i know u?? who are u??** _

Kyungsoo’s stomach threatens to revolt, suddenly overcome with nerves. 

_Zanarath: I don’t know if I want to say…  
 **Xen0s: why??**  
Zanarath: Because I don’t think you’ll be happy to find out.  
 **Xen0s: what????  
Xen0s: why not???  
Xen0s: oh my god i’m so nervous now  
Xen0s: oh dear god kill me  
Xen0s: why do you think that??   
Xen0s: jfc zan, what’s the problem? have you changed your mind about me now that you know who i am? am i that unattractive?  
Xen0s: oh gOD KILL ME NOW**  
Zanarath: Dude stop freaking out. It’s just. Complicated.   
**Xen0s: zan this isn’t fair!! if you know who i am, i deserve to know who you are too  
Xen0s: don’t do this to me :(((  
Xen0s: at least explain why you don’t want me to know?  
Xen0s: come on…..please………..  
Xen0s: don’t ignore me**_

But Kyungsoo can’t bring himself to say it. He’s not sure why, because it’d be much easier to say it online, and never have to see how disappointed his longtime friend and crush is to know who he is. But it just doesn’t seem right. Kyungsoo is many things—obsessive, overachieving, blunt—but he is not a coward. (Or at least, he doesn’t want to be, this time. Not with something this important.)

_**Xen0s: i hate u** _

Kyungsoo’s afraid of how true that’s going to be. 

 

The next day after school, Kyungsoo has band practice, and afterwards he steps outside, backpack slung over his shoulder, and waits for Baekhyun. A couple other students trickle out of the west door, and Kyungsoo pretends to be tying his shoe, his flute case on the pavement beside him. When the door opens again, he stands up quickly and comes face to face with the person he’s been staring at for days. “Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes at the sight of him. “You again? God, what do you _want?_ Or are you just going to leave again mysteriously?”

Kyungsoo grinds his toe against the pavement and stares at his shoes. He takes a deep breath. Steels himself. Then says, “I’m Zanarath.”

Baekhyun stops. Stares. “What?”

Kyungsoo peeks at him through his still-too-long fringe, tightens his fingers around his backpack straps, and prepares to be very, very disappointed. “I’m Zanarath.”

“You’re...oh my god.”

“Yeah.” 

“Oh my _god._ ” Baekhyun’s eyes are wide, and his mouth hangs open. 

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo whispers. 

Baekhyun just stands there for a moment, slumping back against the brick wall of the school. His gaze is unfocused, staring at nothing, and he shakes his head slowly, like he can’t believe this. Kyungsoo knows how he feels. Then he kind of laughs, sounding very overwhelmed. “Sorry for _what?_ ” he says, like he just now processed what Kyungsoo said.

“I don’t know… You hate me.”

“ _You_ hate _me_ ,” Baekhyun says. He straightens, and his fingers comb through his dumb pink hair. 

“Well. Yeah, I guess.” Kyungsoo thinks he might be shaking. 

“You _guess?_ You’ve hated me for years. You don’t even try to hide it.”

Kyungsoo scuffs his toe against the pavement. “Yeah, well. You’ve been a dick to me.”

“Yeah, because you _hate_ me.” Baekhyun’s voice keeps getting louder as Kyungsoo’s gets quieter. 

“I don’t hate you,” he mumbles. 

“Oh really?” Baekhyun sounds less than convinced. 

“I just...think you’re annoying.”

Baekhyun laughs again, shaking his head and not looking at Kyungsoo, running his hand through his hair. “And you thought _I_ would be disappointed.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kyungsoo demands, brows furrowing. 

“Nothing. Just. You thought _I’d_ be disappointed to find out who you are. When really… God.”

“What. So you’re not?” Kyungsoo’s stomach twists uncertainly. 

Baekhyun just keeps running his hand through his hair, over and over, and not looking at Kyungsoo. “I mean it’s not the _worst_ ,” he mutters. 

Kyungsoo swallows. “What does that even _mean?_ ” 

“God, Kyungsoo, I don’t know!” Baekhyun bursts out. “Just...fuck, just go.”

Kyungsoo blinks. “What?”

“Well, now you know who I am, and you hate me, so go! I’m not forcing you to stick around and...suffer my presence or whatever.”

Kyungsoo’s throat goes all thick, and he struggles to swallow. “So you wouldn’t have met up with me if you’d known who I was,” he says. It’s not a really a question, but he wants to know anyway. 

“This was an ambush, actually.”

“I’m serious.”

“I don’t know.” Baekhyun’s going to start pulling his hair out soon. “No.”

“Why not?” Kyungsoo’s not going to get upset. He’s _not._ He’s been preparing for this. He knew it was going to be like this. His eyes just...burn and stuff. Because he’s annoyed. 

“Because you don’t even like me!” Baekhyun says loudly. “Can’t a guy just be fucking miserable in peace? Like as if my life isn’t shitty enough already right now, it just so happens that the guy I’m crushing on in cyberspace is the guy I’ve been crushing on in real life, and he hates me. Of _course._ And now he won’t stop rubbing it in my face.”

Kyungsoo’s heart skips a beat, and his stomach drops. “You...what? You have a crush on me?”

Baekhyun clenches his fists so hard, Kyungsoo thinks he must draw blood. “What, what are you going to do? Tell everyone? Go ahead, I don’t care. I honestly could not fucking care less. I’ll be on the bleachers, throwing myself a fucking pity party.” He turns sharply on his heel, muttering, “What a nightmare.”

Kyungsoo’s hand shoots out automatically, catching his arm. His heart is pounding. “Wait.”

“What?” Baekhyun snaps, turning back with a glare. 

Kyungsoo gulps. “Just...I’m not going to tell anyone. And I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For...lots of things. And I don’t hate you.” Kyungsoo feels breathless. Is this what a panic attack feels like?

“Right, you just find me annoying.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. 

“Well. A little. But also, just. A lot of things have gone wrong since we first met, you know?”

“Yeah yeah, I get it. Everything was a big mistake. I’ll never talk to you again.” Baekhyun tries to tug his arm away. 

Kyungsoo huffs out a frustrated breath. “Would you just _shut up?_ God, you are so annoying. I just wanted to say that I like you, okay? You’re still an obnoxious piece of shit, but I like you. Other parts of you. The parts I didn’t know about before. And I’m sorry for ditching you for like a week while I got over how shocked I was that it’s you. And I’m sorry that your life sucks right now. So. Yeah.”

Baekhyun stares at him, arm now limp and eyes round. “You...like me?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “I guess, yeah. Or at least, I would if you’d stop trying to make my life a living hell.”

Baekhyun’s throat bobs as he swallows. “I think I need to sit down for a while.”

The corners of Kyungsoo’s lips tug up. “You said you were heading for the bleachers.”

The track team is running laps when they arrive, shirts flapping in the brisk October air, but the bleachers are all empty, and Kyungsoo and Baekhyun climb all the way to the top to sit down. They stare out at the team in silence, and Kyungsoo sneaks glances at the boy beside him, who looks more numb and overwhelmed than anything. His heart flutters a little in his chest—that really can’t be healthy—and without thinking, Kyungsoo holds out his hand. 

Baekhyun takes a moment to notice it, but when he does, his eyes go all soft and he smiles, and it’s a little wobbly, but he takes Kyungsoo’s hand, and they just sit there. Holding hands. If anyone saw, they’d probably think they were hallucinating. 

When Baekhyun finally breaks the silence, it’s to say, “So if I asked you if you want to make out right now…?” 

Kyungsoo laughs. He can’t help it. “No,” he says, grinning. 

“Oh.”

“Ask me when you’re more emotionally stable.”

“I’m emotionally stable!” Baekhyun protests. 

Kyungsoo squeezes his hand, and Baekhyun squeezes back. They fall silent again for a little while. 

“I can’t believe it was you. All along.” Baekhyun shakes his head. “But it all adds up, you know? In some crazy way.”

“I know what you mean.” Kyungsoo smiles slightly. “I obviously freaked out when I figured it out.”

“Yeah. That was a dick move, you know. I was so confused and worried.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Kyungsoo taps his thumb against Baekhyun’s hand gently. “You were saying something about having a crush on me?”

Baekhyun laughs. “You’re going to make me say it again?”

“Yes.”

“I had a crush on you from the start. Which is why I was such a piece of shit to you. I was very, um. Sexually confused at the time. And then I just got in over my head. Plus you hated me, so I figured that might be easier than, like, mooning over you.”

“You are a walking cliché.” Kyungsoo tries to pretend his stomach isn’t swooping. 

“I know. Believe me, I know.”

“I only hated you because you were so obnoxious to me.”

“Yeah. I don’t know. I was stupid. _Am_ stupid.”

“You are.” And Kyungsoo kind of wants to kiss him. “I was stupid too, though.”

“But you like me now.” Baekhyun sounds a little smug, and a little disbelieving. 

“I guess so.”

“You _guess?_ You’re holding my hand. In public.”

“No one can see us.” Kyungsoo flashes him a small smile. “I don’t know if you knew, but I had a bit of a crush on Xen0s.”

“A bit?” Baekhyun’s returned smile is cheeky. “Yeah, I could tell.”

Kyungsoo shoulders him gently. “So that helped your case a little.”

Baekhyun laughs. “You couldn’t withstand my charms forever.”

“Whatever. You’re an idiot.” But Kyungsoo can’t stop smiling. 

 

Baekhyun comes over to Kyungsoo’s house later that week. Classmates have been buzzing all week about them talking civilly during school, and Baekhyun gets a kick out of it. Kyungsoo is looking forward to it blowing over. They’re not going to make their relationship public. Not when it’s just starting, especially, but probably not ever. Not to everyone. Not when neither of them is out at school. 

“So this is where the magic happens.” Baekhyun runs his fingers over Kyungsoo’s nice desktop computer and taps blindly at a few keys. “Nice.”

Kyungsoo leans his hip against the edge of his desk and smiles. “You’re not going to make any inappropriate innuendoes? Nothing about me watching porn here? No?”

“I’m on my best behaviour today.” Baekhyun flashes him a grin. “Why? Do you?”

Kyungsoo snorts and kicks out at him, but it turns into more of a brush of his toes against Baekhyun’s leg. 

Baekhyun flops into his desk chair and spins around slowly. “Remember when you told me you’d have sex with my avatar?”

“Oh my god.”

“You did. You said that. Where’s your chat log, I want to find it again as proof.”

Kyungsoo laughs, shaking his head. “I was _joking, obviously._ ” 

“Mhmm, sure. Admit it, Xen0s is sexy.”

“You’re gross.”

“Look, I’m Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun mimes typing on his keyboard. “I’m a nerd and I play videogames and fantasize about having sex with my party members!”

“I will literally throttle you,” Kyungsoo says, but he’s laughing. 

“I love Xen0s soooo much! He’s so hot and charming and sensitive.”

“Shut iiiiit,” Kyungsoo says, dragging the chair away from his desk with Baekhyun still in it. 

“I’m going to find him in real life and make out with him forever.”

Kyungsoo swings the chair around and leans over, settling his hands on either armrest. Baekhyun blinks at him, and Kyungsoo grins. “Maybe I will.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun says quietly, and Kyungsoo leans forward to kiss him, right there in the middle of his room. It’s probably the best way to get him to shut up, honestly. 

It’s messy and uncoordinated, but Baekhyun responds eagerly, hands clutching Kyungsoo’s hips, and it’s not like Kyungsoo hasn’t wanted this for ages. He kissed Baekhyun’s cheek the other day, a sneak attack just before they went their separate ways after school, and it lit a fire in Kyungsoo’s stomach that he’s been desperate to put out. 

Not that this seems to be helping, because the more he kisses Baekhyun, mouths pressed together and teeth scraping gently and noses bumping, the more he wants to do it. Forever. He gets one knee onto the seat next to Baekhyun’s hip and one hand into Baekhyun’s ridiculous hair, and he thinks he would literally do this until he passed out if he could. Baekhyun’s mouth is hot and slick, and he sucks on Kyungsoo’s lower lip and gasps and squirms beneath him, and it’s generally just pretty fucking awesome. 

A small sound pulls Kyungsoo out of his blissful reverie, but it’s not enough to get him away from Baekhyun’s mouth before the startled, “Oh. Um.”

 _That_ gets Kyungsoo up. He spins around and stares in shock at his mom standing at his door. “Um. Mom.”

His mom stares back. “...Boys.”

Baekhyun is on his feet in seconds, next to Kyungsoo. “I’m Baekhyun,” he says before Kyungsoo can tell him to shut up. “If you’re going to kick Kyungsoo out, he can come stay with me.”

Kyungsoo’s mom blinks at them. Kyungsoo is positive that his lips are all red and shiny, but he doesn’t dare lick them. He can’t even move. 

And then she laughs. “I’m not going to kick him out,” she says, shaking her head and looking frazzled. “Why would you think that?”

Kyungsoo looks at the floor. “I was just preparing for the possibility.”

His mom continues to shake her head. “Goodness. Well. We’ll deal with that later.” She clears her throat. “I’m going to go...discuss this with your dad.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says, face heating up as the embarrassment belatedly catches up with him. His whole body burns. 

“Right. Um. Don’t...do anything I wouldn’t approve of.” She turns and leaves, closing the door carefully behind her. 

Baekhyun starts giggling a moment later. “Oops.”

“Oh my god, shut up. This is so embarrassing.”

“I’m sorry. This is really terrible. I’m sorry.” Baekhyun keeps laughing. 

“ _Baek._ My mom just walked in on me making out with my boyfriend, _stop._ ” 

Baekhyun clings to his arm and buries his face in Kyungsoo’s shoulder, shaking with mirth. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He looks up, face red and grinning. “One hell of a memorable first kiss, though, right?”

“You are a monster, Byun Baekhyun.” But Kyungsoo’s lips won’t stay turned down. “At least she’s not going to kick me out?”

“Definitely a cause for celebration.” Baekhyun leans in to kiss him again, short and sweet but more than enough to get Kyungsoo’s heart thumping. 

“Just one more,” he mutters, and pulls him back in. 

Baekhyun hums and holds Kyungsoo’s chin as they kiss. “Boyfriend.”

“Shut _up._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Random Fun Facts:  
> -9th-Grade Baekhyun was extremely and unexpectedly turned on by soft, angelic-looking Do Kyungsoo cussing him out soon after meeting him (and continues to find Kyungsoo swearing very hot)  
> -Ksoo would have found out Baek was Xen0s on Halloween anyway, when he dressed up as his avatar, pink hair and all. Baek still does it, of course. Kyungsoo reiterates that he would, indeed, have sex with him  
> -shy clarinetist Jongin actually has a secret crush on Park Chanyeol, but don't tell


End file.
